New Policy in Heaven

New Policy in Heaven


It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new law was, that in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really awful day when you died. The policy would go into effect at noon the next day.

The next day at 12.01pm, the first person came to the gates of Heaven. The Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, said to the man, “Before I can let you in, you have to tell me what was happening in your life the day on which you died.” “No problem”, the man said. “I came home to my 25th floor apartment during my lunch hour and found my wife half-naked. I thought she was having an affair but her lover was nowhere in sight. Immediately, I began searching for him. My wife was shouting at me as I searched the apartment.”

“Just as I was going to give up the search, I looked out onto the balcony and saw there was a man hanging over the edge by his fingertips! Well, I ran out onto the balcony and jumped on his fingers until he fell to the ground. But he landed in some bushes that broke his fall and he didn’t die!”

“I was so mad that I went back inside to fetch something that I could throw at him. Strangely, the first thing I thought of was the refrigerator. So I unplugged it, pushed it to the balcony and tipped over the side. It fell the 25 stories and crushed the man. Unfortunately all this excitement was too much and I had a heart attack and died instantly!”

The Angel sat and thought for a moment. Technically, the man did have a bad day. It was crime of passion.

So he announced, “Okay, sir. Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven,” and let him in.

A few seconds later the next person came up.

The Angel said, “Before I can let you enter, I need to know what was happening to you on the day you died.”

“No problem”, said the second man. “But you are not going to believe this!”

“I was on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily exercises. I had been under a lot of pressure, so I was really pushing hard to relieve my stress. I think I got a little carried away, slipped and accidentally fell over the side!”

“Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the fingertips on the balcony below mine. But suddenly, this crazy man comes running out of his apartment, swears at me, and jumps on my fingers! Well, I fell and just before I hit the ground, I landed in some trees or bushes which broke my fall. But I didn’t die immediately.”

“As I am lying there, looking up, unable to move, and in great pain, I notice the crazy man push his REFRIGERATOR off the balcony. It falls 25 floors and lands on top of me – killing me instantly!”

The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as the man finishes his story.

“I think I like this new policy”, he says to himself. “Okay”, said the Angel to the second man. “Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven.”

And he lets the man in. A few seconds later, a third man comes up to the gates.

The Angel says, “Please tell me how you died.”

The third man says, “You will never believe this. I am naked, hiding inside a refrigerator…”

New Policy in Heaven

It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new law was, that in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really awful day when you died. The policy would go into effect at noon the next day.

The next day at 12.01pm, the first person came to the gates of Heaven. The Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, said to the man, “Before I can let you in, you have to tell me what was happening in your life the day on which you died.” “No problem”, the man said. “I came home to my 25th floor apartment during my lunch hour and found my wife half-naked. I thought she was having an affair but her lover was nowhere in sight. Immediately, I began searching for him. My wife was shouting at me as I searched the apartment.”

“Just as I was going to give up the search, I looked out onto the balcony and saw there was a man hanging over the edge by his fingertips! Well, I ran out onto the balcony and jumped on his fingers until he fell to the ground. But he landed in some bushes that broke his fall and he didn’t die!”

“I was so mad that I went back inside to fetch something that I could throw at him. Strangely, the first thing I thought of was the refrigerator. So I unplugged it, pushed it to the balcony and tipped over the side. It fell the 25 stories and crushed the man. Unfortunately all this excitement was too much and I had a heart attack and died instantly!”

The Angel sat and thought for a moment. Technically, the man did have a bad day. It was crime of passion.

So he announced, “Okay, sir. Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven,” and let him in.

A few seconds later the next person came up.

The Angel said, “Before I can let you enter, I need to know what was happening to you on the day you died.”

“No problem”, said the second man. “But you are not going to believe this!”

“I was on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily exercises. I had been under a lot of pressure, so I was really pushing hard to relieve my stress. I think I got a little carried away, slipped and accidentally fell over the side!”

“Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the fingertips on the balcony below mine. But suddenly, this crazy man comes running out of his apartment, swears at me, and jumps on my fingers! Well, I fell and just before I hit the ground, I landed in some trees or bushes which broke my fall. But I didn’t die immediately.”

“As I am lying there, looking up, unable to move, and in great pain, I notice the crazy man push his REFRIGERATOR off the balcony. It falls 25 floors and lands on top of me – killing me instantly!”

The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as the man finishes his story.

“I think I like this new policy”, he says to himself. “Okay”, said the Angel to the second man. “Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven.”

And he lets the man in. A few seconds later, a third man comes up to the gates.

The Angel says, “Please tell me how you died.”

The third man says, “You will never believe this. I am naked, hiding inside a refrigerator…”

Tagapag-ulat

Kalendaryo

June 2017
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