New Policy in Heaven

New Policy in Heaven


It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new law was, that in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really awful day when you died. The policy would go into effect at noon the next day.

The next day at 12.01pm, the first person came to the gates of Heaven. The Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, said to the man, “Before I can let you in, you have to tell me what was happening in your life the day on which you died.” “No problem”, the man said. “I came home to my 25th floor apartment during my lunch hour and found my wife half-naked. I thought she was having an affair but her lover was nowhere in sight. Immediately, I began searching for him. My wife was shouting at me as I searched the apartment.”

“Just as I was going to give up the search, I looked out onto the balcony and saw there was a man hanging over the edge by his fingertips! Well, I ran out onto the balcony and jumped on his fingers until he fell to the ground. But he landed in some bushes that broke his fall and he didn’t die!”

“I was so mad that I went back inside to fetch something that I could throw at him. Strangely, the first thing I thought of was the refrigerator. So I unplugged it, pushed it to the balcony and tipped over the side. It fell the 25 stories and crushed the man. Unfortunately all this excitement was too much and I had a heart attack and died instantly!”

The Angel sat and thought for a moment. Technically, the man did have a bad day. It was crime of passion.

So he announced, “Okay, sir. Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven,” and let him in.

A few seconds later the next person came up.

The Angel said, “Before I can let you enter, I need to know what was happening to you on the day you died.”

“No problem”, said the second man. “But you are not going to believe this!”

“I was on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily exercises. I had been under a lot of pressure, so I was really pushing hard to relieve my stress. I think I got a little carried away, slipped and accidentally fell over the side!”

“Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the fingertips on the balcony below mine. But suddenly, this crazy man comes running out of his apartment, swears at me, and jumps on my fingers! Well, I fell and just before I hit the ground, I landed in some trees or bushes which broke my fall. But I didn’t die immediately.”

“As I am lying there, looking up, unable to move, and in great pain, I notice the crazy man push his REFRIGERATOR off the balcony. It falls 25 floors and lands on top of me – killing me instantly!”

The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as the man finishes his story.

“I think I like this new policy”, he says to himself. “Okay”, said the Angel to the second man. “Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven.”

And he lets the man in. A few seconds later, a third man comes up to the gates.

The Angel says, “Please tell me how you died.”

The third man says, “You will never believe this. I am naked, hiding inside a refrigerator…”

New Policy in Heaven

It was getting a little crowded in Heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy. The new law was, that in order to get into Heaven, you had to have a really awful day when you died. The policy would go into effect at noon the next day.

The next day at 12.01pm, the first person came to the gates of Heaven. The Angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, said to the man, “Before I can let you in, you have to tell me what was happening in your life the day on which you died.” “No problem”, the man said. “I came home to my 25th floor apartment during my lunch hour and found my wife half-naked. I thought she was having an affair but her lover was nowhere in sight. Immediately, I began searching for him. My wife was shouting at me as I searched the apartment.”

“Just as I was going to give up the search, I looked out onto the balcony and saw there was a man hanging over the edge by his fingertips! Well, I ran out onto the balcony and jumped on his fingers until he fell to the ground. But he landed in some bushes that broke his fall and he didn’t die!”

“I was so mad that I went back inside to fetch something that I could throw at him. Strangely, the first thing I thought of was the refrigerator. So I unplugged it, pushed it to the balcony and tipped over the side. It fell the 25 stories and crushed the man. Unfortunately all this excitement was too much and I had a heart attack and died instantly!”

The Angel sat and thought for a moment. Technically, the man did have a bad day. It was crime of passion.

So he announced, “Okay, sir. Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven,” and let him in.

A few seconds later the next person came up.

The Angel said, “Before I can let you enter, I need to know what was happening to you on the day you died.”

“No problem”, said the second man. “But you are not going to believe this!”

“I was on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily exercises. I had been under a lot of pressure, so I was really pushing hard to relieve my stress. I think I got a little carried away, slipped and accidentally fell over the side!”

“Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the fingertips on the balcony below mine. But suddenly, this crazy man comes running out of his apartment, swears at me, and jumps on my fingers! Well, I fell and just before I hit the ground, I landed in some trees or bushes which broke my fall. But I didn’t die immediately.”

“As I am lying there, looking up, unable to move, and in great pain, I notice the crazy man push his REFRIGERATOR off the balcony. It falls 25 floors and lands on top of me – killing me instantly!”

The Angel is quietly laughing to himself as the man finishes his story.

“I think I like this new policy”, he says to himself. “Okay”, said the Angel to the second man. “Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven.”

And he lets the man in. A few seconds later, a third man comes up to the gates.

The Angel says, “Please tell me how you died.”

The third man says, “You will never believe this. I am naked, hiding inside a refrigerator…”

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24 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. laugghoutloud
    Sep 18, 2010 @ 20:03:28

    lol hehe crazy men… I laugh because I never expected the third man..

    also it makes me wonder if there’s the fourth man, fifth…

    Nice one aterox. you’re definitely a LOL QUEEN! lol ka aterox, lol ka, ulol ka .,.

    Reply

  2. Pong
    Sep 19, 2010 @ 12:07:57

    wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
    three died on one stone.

    Reply

  3. Mineas
    Sep 19, 2010 @ 12:59:38

    wahahaha!! this one really makes me smile!!! hahaha!! major major laugh trip… 😀

    Reply

  4. aha
    Sep 19, 2010 @ 14:22:34

    This is a great article for anyone that’s looking to acquire real estate and hold it for the long-term. Quite a few years back, I was in the same boat and I went out and acquired a portfolio of approximately 20 residential properties.It might be worth some discussion here

    Thanks for the well thought out and well-written articles!

    Reply

  5. kikilabotz
    Sep 20, 2010 @ 09:08:20

    ahahahaha. nabasa ko na ang story somewhere. but it never fails na patawanin ako ^_^

    Reply

    • missbroken
      Sep 20, 2010 @ 14:26:10

      ako din… masaya naging kinalabasan… kung di dahil sa second man.. di mamamatay yung totoong karelasyong ng asawa nya…(bakit kasi sa ref nagtago.. ang bobo) :))

      Reply

  6. wanderingpiscean
    Sep 20, 2010 @ 16:52:08

    Mahirap talagang pagtaguan ang kasalanan tsk tsk. Mantakin mong kahit pala sa loob ng refrigerator hindi na safe ahahaha.

    Reply

  7. Chacha
    Sep 20, 2010 @ 18:50:55

    lolx kaau..haha!

    Reply

  8. Jag
    Sep 21, 2010 @ 02:31:51

    LMAO!

    Reply

  9. duking
    Sep 26, 2010 @ 04:05:50

    bwahaha!

    best joke ‘to na nabasa ko this year.sana pwedeng ipadala sa FHM.ahihi!

    Reply

  10. supermimaigurl
    Sep 30, 2010 @ 00:16:02

    sheyts…shuanga ana na story ui..waaaaaaaaaah..nice one Rox..nice one..

    Reply

  11. theinnocentone
    Sep 30, 2010 @ 00:22:25

    hahaha…nice one! :d

    Reply

  12. geylii
    Oct 16, 2010 @ 02:36:17

    whahaha ! ate rox. alam mo naman na may mga block sites sakin diba?
    the good news is: eto na open ko
    bad news: ung sa last post mo about horoscope dun ako mag co-comment hahaha

    Pisces ako haha. 😀 pwede naman ilipat comment ko diba ? haha

    Reply

  13. shareyourlovelifestoryatthisblog
    Feb 07, 2011 @ 01:10:50

    Wow! great article Rox. I super love it and the content is full of lessons to be learned. hehehe I just love the way you think and decide what article/s to be post. U rock Rox! 😉

    Reply

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