DIVORCE LETTER

BEST DIVORCE LETTER, EVER!

Dear wife:

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you forever. I’ve been a good man to you for 7 years & I have nothing to show for it.

These last 2 weeks have been hell.

Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today & that was the last straw. Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, I’m gone.

Your EX-Husband

P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

——

Dear Ex-Husband

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter.

It’s true you & I have been married for 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping Too bad that doesn’t work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I didn’t comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.

After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica But when I got home you were gone.. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.

I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me.

So take care.

Signed,

Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!

P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem

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32 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Chacha
    Jul 06, 2010 @ 01:31:54

    funny :))

    Reply

  2. kikilabotz
    Jul 07, 2010 @ 06:01:26

    miss brocken nhirapan akong basahin.. shocks..natatakpan ng background image mo ang mga letra.. kelangn pa tuloy i highlights.. nwei i ilike it the letter ^_^

    Reply

  3. sei
    Jul 08, 2010 @ 00:21:31

    uhm…hehe
    better tell him ur feelings..:D
    pero if dili nimo kaya iRisk ang friendship..ayaw na lang..hehe

    Reply

  4. Zhed
    Jul 08, 2010 @ 13:47:07

    hahahhaha…nimelzz ka ate roxxx..adik man to nga story oi…ahhahah..gabaan c husband..everything happens for a reason..

    Reply

  5. duking
    Jul 08, 2010 @ 14:38:53

    nyahahaha!!!

    kita mo nga naman ang buhay!

    Reply

  6. kayedee
    Jul 09, 2010 @ 07:02:48

    ahaha.everythng hapens 4 a rison tlga ano?! lolz..
    ank ng tukneneng malas ng guy dpt millioner n xa ehehe..
    ang dmi kong tawa nice post 🙂

    Reply

  7. curiousclaw
    Jul 09, 2010 @ 08:35:50

    it was a nice read! natawa ako! hahaha! 😀

    loser si husband! 😛

    hi ate rox! unsa man na?

    Reply

  8. Loykens
    Jul 10, 2010 @ 02:17:03

    Nice ka ate rox…at least you give us an idea how to express the feelings which is hard to tell to your partner. what a good letter…hehehehe

    Reply

    • missbroken
      Jul 10, 2010 @ 04:48:06

      ahahaha… mao jud loy.. ana jud… mao.. undangi na na imung pangabit kai astang.. basin mamilyonarya imu asawa tapos biyaan ka.. na gaba jud na sa imu…

      Reply

  9. aubu22
    Jul 11, 2010 @ 21:26:25

    wow, gudlak kay ex-husband ng ex-wife, haha

    Reply

  10. Johny Burdeny
    Jul 11, 2010 @ 21:46:52

    What you have is very good reading. I usually read marriage/relationship matter at mierue.com

    Reply

  11. Astang B. Lata
    Jul 26, 2010 @ 12:58:40

    All eyes tayo kag DJ Astang B flowers tayo mga tol flowers tayo diyan.

    Reply

  12. etands
    Jul 28, 2010 @ 07:41:17

    nice… ganda naman..

    Reply

  13. jongskie721
    Jul 31, 2010 @ 13:32:12

    hahahaha sakit ng tiyan ko sa kakatawa 😀 i’ve read this somewhere…. basta parang ganito din yun… eheheehe

    Reply

  14. aha
    Sep 07, 2010 @ 21:39:48

    This is a great article for anyone that’s looking to acquire real estate and hold it for the long-term. Quite a few years back, I was in the same boat and I went out and acquired a portfolio of approximately 20 residential properties.

    The goal, of course, was to take advantage of leverage, tax breaks, OPT and OPM. I figured that if I wanted to be a real estate investor that I was going to have to take the plunge and acquire some property. What I found throughout my time as a landlord, however, is that there are other ways besides buying property to acquire valuable real estate at steep discounts.

    Private lending is a technique that plenty of master investors are currently using to acquire interests in real estate for pennies on the dollar. It might be worth some discussion here.

    Thanks for the well thought out and well-written articles!

    Reply

  15. cedy
    Dec 05, 2010 @ 13:58:02

    sheet..
    its bad 2 felt like this..=(

    Reply

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